Theta
Epsilon
Theta
Epsilon
York College of Pennsylvania
Beta Beta Beta
Beta Beta Beta (TriBeta) is a society for students, particularly undergraduates, dedicated to improving the understanding and appreciation of biological study and extending boundaries of human knowledge through scientific research.
Our greenhouse Our molecular biology lab
Chapter News:
Current Logos Academy Meetings -
2/2-
Brittany, Shelly- fetal pig dissection
2/16
3/9
3/16- Katharine Miceli, Erin Moore
3/30
4/20
The times are 4:00 to 5:15 pm
Rock Wall Group Climb: We are planning a TriBeta group climb at our new rock wall at the Grumbacher Center. We are hoping to go on February 13th at 9pm, but the exact date and time are not yet set in stone. If you want to be involved, you have to email Ben Doyle (bdoyle1@ycp.edu) immediately so he can get a headcount and reserve the wall for us.
Group Hike: We are planning a group hike this semester for Sunday, April 22nd (which happens to be Earth Day). The location has not yet been confirmed. Locations proposed include the Appalachian Trail, Muddy Creek, or one of our 8 County Parks here in York.
Party (tentative): Amanda Keller is going to see if she can secure her home for a TriBeta party for this semester. The party is planned for Saturday, April 28th currently, but that date is very tentative. More info is yet to come on this.
Wind Cave and Cliff Jump: A few of us went to the Wind Cave over in Lancaster last semester. This semester we are considering a return trip. Also, since it will be warmer, we are planning a cliff jump into the Susquehanna River afterwards. You need not jump if you come, but if you are interested it should be a lot of fun. We are planning to do this on May 5th at 11am. One important note: the cliff is assumed to be about 40 to 50 feet in height and the jump can be dangerous. Anyone who chooses to jump is doing so at their own discretion and under their own responsibility. This shouldn’t be a problem. If ya wanna jump, jump!
Biology Related Quotes and Jokes:
“When we no longer look at an organic being as a savage looks at a ship, as at something wholly beyond [their] comprehension; when we regard every production of nature as one which has had a history; when we contemplate every complex structure and instinct as the summing up of many contrivances, each useful to the possessor… how far more interesting, I speak from experience, will the study of natural history become!”
-Charles Darwin, the Origin of Species, 1859
If all mankind were to
disappear, the world would regenerate back to the rich state of equilibrium that
existed ten thousand years ago. If insects were to vanish, the environment would
collapse into chaos.
-Edward O. Wilson
"It has
been asserted over and over again, by writers who believe in the
immuntability of
species, that geology yields no linking forms. This assertion...is certainly
erroneous... What geological reserach has not
revealed, is the former existence of
infinitely numerous gradations...connecting together nearly all existing and
extinct
species."
-Charles Darwin, the Origin of Species
Trying to
determine the structure of a protein by UV spectroscopy was like
trying to determine the structure of a piano by listening to the sound it
made while being dropped down a flight of stairs.
-- Francis Crick [British molecular biologist, 1916- ]
Evolution is a tinkerer.
-- Francois Jacob (French biochemist 1920- )"Evolution and Tinkering" (1977)
However many ways there may be of being alife, it is
certain that there are
vastly more ways of being dead.
- Richard Dawkins (English biologist,1941-)in The
Blind Watchmaker (1986)
The essence of life is statistical improbability on a colossal scale.
- Richard Dawkins (English biologist,1941-)in The
Blind Watchmaker (1986)
They are in you and me; they created us, body and mind; and their
preservation is the ultimate rationale for our existence ... they go by the
name of genes, and we are their survival machines.
- Richard Dawkins (English biologist,1941-)in The
Selfish Gene (1976)
"The
species of whale known as the black right whale has four kilos
of brains and 1,000 kilos of
testicles. If it thinks at all, we know what it is thinking about."
Jon Lien, "Whale Professor" at St. John's University, Newfoundland,
speaking to the Norwegian Telegram
Agency (spring 1995).
Every species
of plant and animal is determined by a pool of germ plasm
that has been most carefully selected over a period of hundreds of millions
of years. We can understand now why it is that mutations in these
carefully selected organisms almost invariably are detrimental. The
situation can be suggested by a statement by Dr. J.B.S.
Haldane: "My clock
is not keeping perfect time. It is conceivable that it will run better if
I shoot a bullet through it; but it is much more probable that it will stop
altogether." Professor George Beadle, in this connection, has asked: "What
is the chance that a typographical error would improve Hamlet?"
- Linus
Pauling (in "No more War!")
"People are DNA's way of making more
DNA." - Edward O. Wilson, 1975
(Original version by Erkki
Aalto, Dept. of Obstetrics,
Gynaecology and
Stork Science, University of Helsinki)
(English version by Jopi Louko,
Institute of Stork Research, University of
Alberta)
Ovulation versus cretinism
Two different theories exist concerning the origin of
children: the theory
of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in
the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory
at school.
In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in
favour
of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught
in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth.
Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.
Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:
1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This
can be confirmed by every ornithologist.
2. The alleged human foetal development contains
several features that the
theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.
3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately
nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a
newborn child is newborn.
4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of
sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where
sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child.
5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive
correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are
decreasing.
6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific
methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the
stork.
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.
Q: What did one lab rat say to the other?
A: "I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the
buzzer, he brings me a snack.
Q:How
many fruit flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None. Fruit flies
don't screw in light bulbs they screw in fruit
The subtle irony of a neurotoxin like
acrylamide is that you are the last
one to realize that you should have worn gloves.
Q: what do you call the leader of a biology gang?
A: The nucleus
There was a biology student who was studying
equilibrium in sea birds with a
specific focus on terns. He proposed that giving measured doses of THC (from,
of course, marijuana) and observing their flight patterns would give some
insight to the problems of equilibrium in three dimensional space. This
proposal being given in a more liberal era, the student got the funding. He
filled out mountains of forms, set up a lab with a ready supply of terns, and
proceeded on his way. After a year of diligent work,
groveling monthly before
the review committee to get his stipend, and living with drugged terns, he
completed his study.
With trembling hands, he delivered his 247-page report, complete with charts
and graphs, to the review committee. The august body peruses his study, asking
penetrating questions and reducing our student to jell-o. Finally, the
department head rises. The light reflects off her steel rimmed glasses as she
stares down at our student.
"There is a lot of good work here," she says. "But we can't accept this report.
You have detailed marvelously the effects of THC on terns but you forgot one
essential step: you have no control group." Our student turns pale and says,
"You don't mean..."
"Yes. I'm afraid so. You left no tern unstoned."
"Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same
thing as division."
MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY FOR THE LAYMAN
Artery------------------------The study of fine paintings.
Barium------------------------What you do when CPR fails.
Cesarean Section--------------A district in
Rome.
Colic-------------------------A sheep dog.
Coma--------------------------A punctuation mark.
Congenital--------------------Friendly.
Dilate------------------------To live long.
Fester------------------------Quicker.
GI Series---------------------Baseball game between teams of soldiers.
Grippe------------------------A suitcase.
Hangnail----------------------A coat hook.
Medical staff-----------------A doctor's cane.
Minor operation---------------Coal digging.
Morbid------------------------A higher offer.
Nitrate-----------------------Lower than the day rate.
Node--------------------------Was aware of.
Organic-----------------------Church musician.
Outpatient--------------------Person who has fainted.
Post-operative----------------A letter carrier.
Protein-----------------------In favor of young people.
Secretion---------------------Hiding anything.
Serology----------------------Study of English knighthood.
Tablet-------------------------A small table.
Tumor-------------------------An extra pair.
Urine-------------------------Opposite of you're out.
Varicose veins----------------Veins which are very close together.
Benign------------------------What you be after you
be eight.
ANTIBODY: against everyone
ARTERY: the study of fine paintings
BACTERIA: back door to a cafeteria
BENIGN: what you be after you be eight
BOWEL: letters like A, E, I, O, or U
CAESAREAN SECTION: a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY: advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN: searching for ones lost kitty
CAUTERIZE: made eye contact with her
COMA: a punctuation mark
CONGENITAL: friendly
CORTIZONE: the local courthouse
D & C: where Washington is
DILATE: to live longer
ENEMA: not a friend
ER: the things on your head that you hear with
FIBRILLATE: to tell lies
GENES: blue denim slacks
HEMORRHOID: a male from outer space
IMPOTENT: distinguished, well known
LABOR PAIN: hurt at work
MINOR OPERATION: somebody else's
ORGAN TRANSPLANT: what you do to your piano when you move
PARALYZE: two far-fetched stories
PATHOLOGICAL: a reasonable way to go
PHARMACIST: person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
PROTEIN: in favor of young people
RED BLOOD COUNT: Dracula
RHEUMATIC: amorous
SECRETION: hiding anything
TABLET: a small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS: getting sick at the airport
TIBIA: country in North Africa
TRIPLE BYPASS: better than a quarterback sneak
TUMOR: an extra pair
URINE: opposite of "you're out"
VARICOSE: very close
VEIN: conceited
Q: What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?
A: I like your "style"
Eat yogurt and get cultured
Q: How do you make a horemone?
A: Don't pay her.
Q: Have do you call a tyrannosaurus that is afraid of his own shadow ?
A: A nervous Rex.
A red blood cell walked into a busy restaurant. The hostess asked, "Would
you like to sit at the bar?" The red cell answered, "No thanks, I'll just
circulate." (Stan Kegel)
"Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of
evolution."
Theodosius Dobzhansky
THE HARVARD LAW
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume,
humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
(apologies for the ones with no author, they were anonymously found on the internet)
Graham E. Lau
Theta Epsilon 2007 Beta Beta Beta
